> perfectn0ir's home

look at my memory. a red dragon falls from the heavens...

why are we here then?

I wish I knew the answer to this. It feels like I've been searching my whole life for something to grasp on. Meaning for me has always felt flimsy. At times I thought: "Aha! The meaning to my life is x!". But "x" is nothing more than a variable. I used to think that us as individuals have some sort of established meaning, but now I see meaning as something with fluid properties. After all, our lives are constantly changing, so why shouldn't meaning constantly change too?

This is a topic that is very hard to write for me because it is so open-ended and personal. The only somewhat concrete inkling I can elaborate on is the idea of free will. I like to bring up the following thought experiment: if two identical brains were placed in identical situations with absolutely no difference between them, would they think in the exact same way? Let's expand the scope of this concept: if two exactly identical universes are created, would the events of each universe develop in the exact same way?

Personally, I believe that the idea of free will is false. I think that are prisoners to our brain. So if everything was determined billions of years before we were born, why are we here then?